Lost my brother, my confidant, to that cruel, indifferent disease. I will always honor my brother and the memories we shared thought our lives.
One of the biggest trademark issues I face when it comes to activating my ADHD symptoms is ridicule. Ridicule – or how I receive it, mockery – is a tremendous emotional trigger for me. For example, I’m asked to do a task by someone and I immediately feel self-inflicted pressure by default. My self-inflicted pressure causes me to believe the person is, or is becoming, impatient (negative misattribution – I’ll cover that in a future post [if I remember]). At this juncture, I’m swarmed with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, incompetence, and I begin to [internally] panic. Next, frustration kicks into high gear – notice this scenario; it’s self-created. The other person (or people) has shown one iota of, or even alluded to, impatience. This thought-pattern is my automatic response-mechanism. It stems from my upbringing – NOT ONE MEMBER OF MY HOUSEHOLD HAD A MODICUM OF PATIENCE (which to this day, holds true)! I digress. Where are my coping mechanisms when I need them? What happened to my practiced behavior modifications? Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I actually get to a point of consistent progress until . . . the mockery unveils. Let the [ADHD emotional breakdown] games begin! Anger begins to set in. Rather than becoming mindful at that moment, I go into full-blown defense mode: “I got it . . . give me a sec . . . Almost there . . . no, thanks, [I don’t need your help! PLEASE it’s going to distract even more than I already am!!!! STOOOPPP] . . . ” The Phoenix rises and my exhausting diatribe of explanation emerges.
Fortunately for me (and my counterparts), I am becoming more self-aware when faced with these types of situations. While I am not in the least bit immune to ridicule, I am unequivocally aware of the thoughts and emotions I experience as a result of it. I recognize that I am highly sensitive to mockery and the reasons behind my heightened sensitivity. Please do not misunderstand the weight of my message – I am not always successful at controlling the ADHD beast within me. Modifying my reactionary behavior is a life-long journey that takes blood, sweat and tears to implement and is fails most of the time. But I don’t give it. Read that again. I DON’T GIVE UP! I say to myself, it’s not the critic who counts . . . then I google Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote:
It’s Not The Critic Who Counts!
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
ADHD is a Full-Time Job!
Living with ADHD is a full-time job. It’s perpetual work. I work my butt off and do whatever it takes to turn my ADHD symptoms into superpowers. Half full or half empty? Either option still gives you something tangible – it’s up to you to decide how you will take advantage of that commodity.
The ADHD Lawyer
Sequel to this blog post: “Let’s break this pattern down” Coming soon to The AHDH Lawyer Blog
We all have imperfections. And that’s ok because without those amazing, unique, fantastic, crazy, challenging, difficult, crystal-clear imperfections, we wouldn’t be who we are!
This statement applies to every aspect of life, especially an ADHD life. Most importantly, it helps to rewire your thought-process. Why? Because if you embrace your imperfections, your response resonates not only to yourself but to everyone around you. By willingly accepting your imperfections, you send the message that you are human. How you respond to your ‘defect’, ‘fault’, ‘flaw’, or ‘deficiency’ (you get the point) rather than your reaction to it, conveys how you rewire your weakness to strength. You show vulnerability which in turn shows strength. And that my friend is inspiring.
We are perfectly flawed. Be proud of that amazing attribute!
You are a human being and are allowed to be imperfect, and you are allowed to be flawed. There is a lot of beauty in your imperfections, in your uniqueness.
Welcome to a brand new day!
See the ADHD and Riducule blog post
Want to know more about The ADHD lawyer? Check out my blog post What is an Adhd Lawyer?
Part II. What is a L A W Y E R?
A Lawyer is . . . a noun. To lawyer is . . . a verb! Ha! Seriously, a lawyer is one who is licensed to practice law. Black’s Law Dictionary 905 (8th ed. 2004). As an aside (ADHD, sorry), my Black’s is pristine (because I never use it). The updated definition on Westlaw is, a lawyer is someone who, having been licensed to practice law, is qualified to advise people about legal matters, prepare contracts and other legal instruments, and represent people in court. Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014), available at Westlaw.com. Interesting upgrade from 2004. I guess a lot happens in 10 years!
I am not sure if Merrium Webster consulted with BAG but their definition is a bit grammatically off. A lawyer is, one whose profession is to conduct lawsuits for clients or to advise as to legal rights and obligations in other matters. Conduct lawsuits? The conduct of a lawsuit is litigation, hence conduct litigation but, a lawyer conducts lawsuits? I guess MW views a lawyer akin to an opera conductor. Ironically, when I searched Google for the phrase, “conduct lawsuits for clients”, the results were ethics opinions and malpractice suits. #interstinglyodd At, my age, I really shouldn’t be using hashtags (or dude, for that matter). #generationX
And the verb, lawyer, per Black’s 10th Edition: 1. To practice as a lawyer <associates often spend their days and nights lawyering, with little time for recreation>. 2. To supply with lawyers <the large law-school class will certainly help lawyer the state>. See lawyer up. (love the slang, BAG!). Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014)
Part I. What is ADHD?
In order to explain what an ADHD lawyer is, one must define ADHD. My definition of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or, ADHD, is a treatable condition, or affliction, or neurobehavioral disorder marked by persistent inattention and hyperactivity, and is usually hitched with impulsivity. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (herein, the “Institute’), ADHD is a brain disorder evidenced by an ongoing pattern of inattention/hyperactivity/impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. The Institute defines Inattention as, a person who wanders off task, lacks persistence, has difficulty sustaining focus, and is disorganized (and? hmmm) – such issues are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension (got that right!); Hyperactivity as, a person who seems to constantly move around (constantly?), including inappropriate situations; or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. The Institute continues opining that in adults, hyperactivity may be exuded by extreme restlessness or “wearing others out with constant activity” (wt%?); and Impulsivity as a person who acts hastily in the moment without first thinking and, such actions may have high potential for harm; or a desire for immediate rewards or inability to delay gratification. The Institute defines an impulsive person as someone who may be socially intrusive and excessively interrupt others or make important decisions without considering the long-term consequences. Whew! Made it through the first opin……., I mean definition, sorry! That was close!
To continue defining ADHD, I turn to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (herein, “CDC”). The CDC defines ADHD in terms of children, not adults. According to the CDC website, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder of childhood which is categorized by the predominant symptoms. The three categories or, presentations, are: (1) Predominantly Inattentive; (2) Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive; and (3) Combined. Predominantly Inattentive ADHD: A [child] is easily distracted or forgets details of daily routines causing difficulty with organizing or finishing a task, paying attention to details, or following instructions or conversations. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD: A [child] fidgets and talks a lot, has difficulty with sitting still for long (e.g., for a meal or while doing homework). The [child] feels restless and has impulsivity issues such as interrupting others, grabbing things from people, or speaking at inappropriate times. It is difficult for the [child] to wait their turn or listen to directions. Combined ADHD: Symptoms of the above two types are equally present in the person.
With regard to Adult ADHD, the CDC website refers its readers to the NIMH and the Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder or, CHADD. That’s it. They, the CDC, the federal agency indoctrinated for the promotion of the public health at large, and managed by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, say nothing more about Adult ADHD. Rhetoric approaching . . . WHY!?!?! We will save that discussion for a future post.
More to come but . . . brb.
By the way, welcome to the lovely world of The ADHD Lawyer. And I mean that with the utmost sincerity. I embrace my ADHD because I am blessed to be embellished with such a condition – I wouldn’t be the person I am without it! So brace yourself and get ready for the ride of a lifetime! Let’s do this! But first, I need to recharge my focus (kind of like recharging your healing crystals). To follow: Additional definitions of ADHD and LAWYER. To. Be. Continued. Shortly. TTFN.