Month: June 2019

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We Don’t Outgrow Our ADHD.

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We don’t outgrow our ADHD, we adjust our behavior accordingly. For me, ADHD is perpetual refocusing; perpetual redirecting; and perpetual emotional regulation. The most challenging aspect of my ADHD is self-regulation. Depending on who you ask in the ADHD expert realm, ADHD is a “permanent” neuro-developmental/neuro-biological/neurological/neuro-behavioral disorder or chronic condition. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnosis of ADHD is recognized as a lifelong disorder. (DSM-5 Fifth Edition; American Psychiatric Association, 2013). If you do a search using the terms “lifelong” “ADHD” “disorder”, it will return numerous scholarly articles which state that ADHD is a lifelong condition. Hence, WE likely (sorry, it’s the lawyer in me) DO NOT OUT GROW OUR ADHD.

ADHD is a lifestyle
We don’t out grow our ADHD

If we don’t outgrow ADHD, what should we do?

So what do we do now? We grow with our ADHD. How you might ask – by learning! We become our own advocates with regard to our diagnosis and treatment. We learn everything we can about our individual symptoms. We dissect each symptom. Categorize them. Learn which behaviors manifest each symptom and why. Track these behaviors. Learn how to self-regulate. Talk to fellow ADHDers. Attempt a variety of interventions/treatments. Talk to a doctor who specializes in ADHD. Try an ADHD coach. Listen to podcasts. Read books. Learn how to meditate. Use healing crystals.

To learn more about ADHD, start here What is ADHD blog post.

Keep learning about your ADHD

There are many options available today, some free, some not. Do a Google search. Start somewhere!! Yes, it sounds easier said than done (and scary as all heck) but ADHD is your life long roommate. It’s the very fabric of your being, whether you like it or not. The more you learn about your roommate, the better your life together will be :). Have fun with it!!

For some resources on learning about ADHD, check out our ADHD Resouces page.

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources

And remember, if we look at our ADHD as a life-long gift, rather than a life-long curse, we will embrace it as an ability, not a disability.

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ADHD and Ridicule

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One of the biggest trademark issues I face when it comes to activating my ADHD symptoms is ridicule. Ridicule – or how I receive it, mockery – is a tremendous emotional trigger for me. For example, I’m asked to do a task by someone and I immediately feel self-inflicted pressure by default. My self-inflicted pressure causes me to believe the person is, or is becoming, impatient (negative misattribution – I’ll cover that in a future post [if I remember]). At this juncture, I’m swarmed with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, incompetence, and I begin to [internally] panic. Next, frustration kicks into high gear – notice this scenario; it’s self-created. The other person (or people) has shown one iota of, or even alluded to, impatience. This thought-pattern is my automatic response-mechanism. It stems from my upbringing – NOT ONE MEMBER OF MY HOUSEHOLD HAD A MODICUM OF PATIENCE (which to this day, holds true)! I digress. Where are my coping mechanisms when I need them? What happened to my practiced behavior modifications? Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I actually get to a point of consistent progress until . . . the mockery unveils. Let the [ADHD emotional breakdown] games begin! Anger begins to set in. Rather than becoming mindful at that moment, I go into full-blown defense mode: “I got it . . . give me a sec . . . Almost there . . . no, thanks, [I don’t need your help! PLEASE it’s going to distract even more than I already am!!!! STOOOPPP] . . . ” The Phoenix rises and my exhausting diatribe of explanation emerges.

ADHD is a full-time job.

Becoming self-aware

Fortunately for me (and my counterparts), I am becoming more self-aware when faced with these types of situations. While I am not in the least bit immune to ridicule, I am unequivocally aware of the thoughts and emotions I experience as a result of it. I recognize that I am highly sensitive to mockery and the reasons behind my heightened sensitivity. Please do not misunderstand the weight of my message – I am not always successful at controlling the ADHD beast within me. Modifying my reactionary behavior is a life-long journey that takes blood, sweat and tears to implement and is fails most of the time. But I don’t give it. Read that again. I DON’T GIVE UP! I say to myself, it’s not the critic who counts . . . then I google Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote:

It’s Not The Critic Who Counts!

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

ADHD is a Full-Time Job!

Living with ADHD is a full-time job. It’s perpetual work. I work my butt off and do whatever it takes to turn my ADHD symptoms into superpowers. Half full or half empty? Either option still gives you something tangible – it’s up to you to decide how you will take advantage of that commodity.

The ADHD Lawyer

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Sequel to this blog post: “Let’s break this pattern down” Coming soon to The AHDH Lawyer Blog

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The Rejection Infection

Want to read more of my (short) blog posts? Visit The ADHD Lawyer Blog
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Rejection is one of the most difficult emotions to handle. Rejection can be catastrophic for an ADHDer’s emotional health. Feeling dismissed or slighted affects self-esteem, and makes us feel alone and unwanted. I believe rejection and abandonment go hand in hand and, is a toxic formula for emotional chaos, unless it is dealt with compassionately and mindfully. As ADHDers, we allow the power of our emotions to control us and, the power of rejection can turn into an addiction. How? It turns into an addiction because we become fixated on the emotional effect of feeling unwanted, unworthy, and abandoned and become addicted to it. In essence, we hyperfocus on the negative feelings that rejection projects on us and blurs out any possibility of controlling our emotions. If we allow rejection to manifest into obsession, we cannot prevent self-sabotage.

The Rejection Infection

When we become aware of the thoughts and emotions behind the rejection, we can manifest the power to accept rejection and use it to strengthen our sense of self. Feelings are not facts. We can turn that pain into power if we notice the pain, understand why we feel the pain, embrace it, then let it go, we can shift our perspective to feel more self-possessed by paying close attention to our inner critic.

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources