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It’s Been A While . . .

As you can see from the date of my last blog entry, it’s been quite a long while since my last post. Life continues, thankfully, and we have been given an unexpected challenge – the Coronavirus.  The world has been on their respective version of a lockdown or ‘pause’, which has brought, amongst other things, some interesting times. For me, this pause has given me pause. It gave me insight into myself and the world at large. It has given me an opportunity to help myself and others. It has given me the opportunity to look at things a bit differently.  It has made me appreciate the little things in life that are overlooked, and helped me realize how important they really are, and this I am truly grateful.

I hope that you’ve taken this opportunity to do the same. To remember how quickly what have, what we are accustomed to, can vanish in the blink of an eye. I have discovered that life is not a dress rehearsal that we can “do over”, but is live, at this very moment, and we should be so grateful for this precious gift. To be grateful is to cherish it, and how to cherish it is to be kind, always. Think about what you have gone through these last few months, and be grateful  – truly grateful that you are alive! Whatever your situation, be unequivocally grateful, and live this gift called life in the present moment.  It’s called the present because it is a gift.  Remember this – every second of the day – remember this gift called the present moment. Take care of yourself and your family,  and always, ALWAYS, live with a grateful heart.

Be well. Stay safe. Help others.

Keep the Peace!

?The ADHD Lawyer?

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ADHD and Productivity

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Is there such a thing as too much productivity?

What is productivity to an ADHDer? Efficiency with time-management. But the key to such efficiency is possessing functional “executive function.” Executive function, according to, is defined as the group of complex mental processes and cognitive abilities (such as working memory, impulse inhibition, and reasoning) that control the skills (such as organizing tasks, remembering details, managing time, and solving problems) required for goal-directed behavior. In the 2008 article, Assessment of executive functions: Review of instruments and identification of critical issues, the authors interpret ‘executive functions’ as, “an umbrella term comprising a wide range of cognitive processes and behavioral competencies which include verbal reasoning, problem-solving, planning, sequencing, the ability to sustain attention, resistance to interference, utilization of feedback, multitasking, cognitive flexibility, and the ability to deal with novelty” (Burgess, Veitch, de lacy Costello, & Shallice, 2000; Damasio, 1995; Grafman & Litvan, 1999; Shallice, 1988; Stuss & Benson, 1986; Stuss, Shallice, Alexander, & Picton, 1995). Wow! This definition is a beautiful scientific mouth-full! And finally, a more modern, general definition of executive function from is, [broadly speaking], the cognitive and mental abilities that help people engage in goal-directed action: [ADHDers] direct actions, control behavior, and motivate [themselves] to achieve [their] goals and prepare for future events.



To me, productivity means rituals. I have daily rituals that I MUST follow in order to be productive. Implementing these systems helps my executive function deficits (see above if you skipped to this section). For example, I wake up, I splash water on my face, I get ready to go to the gym, I make my coffee, I set an intention for the day, I go to the gym, I go home, I take my meds, I shower, I get dressed (clothes, accessories, etc. chosen and laid out the night before), I remote start my car, I read the note I left on the kitchen table reminding me to take my lunch out of the fridge, and make sure I have everything to bring to work. If I deviate from this ritual in the slightest bit, I become derailed and that causes a domino effect. Yeah, I know, it sounds ridiculous because it’s robotic but, I MUST be robotic and follow these steps in order to be productive. As ADHDers, our brains function differently. To be productive, I try to focus on what works for me (rituals) and I keep a close eye on my objective (objective- singular: ONE at a time). I try to be mindful or, aware of the present moment. Being mindful is certainly difficult to do, I won’t sugar-coat it, especially when you are heated, distracted, emotional, or feeling invalidated. Being mindful can also help with over-productivity. When you try to do too much, the ADHD brain essentially shits down. Baby steps. Perform O N E T A S K A T A T I M E!! As ADHDers, we want to complete everything at the same time (btw, multi-tasking is an urban legend! ;)) but we don’t really have a grasp of what “time” means. I have been working on this blog post for hours! (ok, I started it 2 weeks ago). I could continue writing, editing, re-editing, adding additional content, deleting content – you get the picture. I am working on my time-management issues. It’s on my ADHD bucket list!!! Bottom line, DO ONE THING AT A TIME. Bottom, bottom line – DO ONE STEP AT A TIME. You know how it goes. We’ve all been there, and back, many many times. So embrace it. Trying to be over-productive usually leads to being zero-productive.

SO what’s the take-away?

Productivity = Task-management
Check your emotions.
Frame your mindset.
Be patient with yourself.
Manifest your groove.
Limit your perfectionism.
Be mindful.
Stay focused.
Think dialectically (look at both sides of the coin).
Eye on the prize (the objective).
Practice the pause.
Don’t judge.
Shut the negative voices down!
Control emotional dysregulation.
Be proud.

Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.

Eckhart Tolle

Links to Productivity TIPS for ADHDers

What does productivity mean to you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below or send me an e-mail to

And please remember, we’re all in this together! #adhdawareness #adhdsupport #adhdproductivity

Want to read more of my (short) blog posts? Visit The ADHD Lawyer Blog
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Rejection Addiciton

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First, rejection addiction is a term I coined. I do not believe it is a medical diagnosis or a condition. I am an emotional addict. I feed off emotions. What I mean is, I am immensely affected by emotions – both my own and others – positively and negatively. I identify myself as an empath and, ADHD augments this already heightened ability to understand and feel another person’s mental and emotional state. If it was only understanding and feeling what that person is going through, I would be fine with the extra emotional ‘baggage’, for lack of a better term. However, it goes much much deeper than that for me. I apprehend the other person’s emotions. I physically and mentally feel what they are going through. Now I am not a psychic or a spiritual phenomenon or any other term that you might be thinking – I just feel that person’s energy, intensely, – especially pain. Can’t explain it but, it’s both a blessing and a curse. Ok, I’m finished with my empath tangent. Rejection to me? Ideally, rejection is something that validates my negative perspectives. Thus, the rejection addiction is born. Never said it was a good trait.

Are you addicted to rejection?

Onto the addiction aspect of rejection. Addiction is a chronic condition. Like any addictive disorder, general symptoms include, but are not limited to, impaired control, obsessive and compulsive behaviors, executive function deficits (impulsivity, risk-taking). (Executive function: Impulsivity, frontal lobes and risk for addiction, Crews and Boettiger, 2009). Take a look at this definition of addiction from Psychology Today: A condition in which a person engages in the use of a substance or in a behavior for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the behavior despite detrimental consequences. The authors/bloggers continue, there is scientific evidence that the addictive behaviors share key neurobiological features—they intensely involve brain pathways of reward and reinforcement, affecting motivation, which involve the neurotransmitter dopamine. And, in keeping with other highly motivated states, they lead to the pruning of synapses in the prefrontal cortex, home of the brain’s highest functions. (Psychology Today, Authors/Bloggers, Medical Experts, website last checked July 4, 2019). Re-read the previous paragraph. Do you see what I mean? Addictive disorders are relative. They carry the general symptoms I stated above. Reminder – these are my thoughts, my perceptions. I am not a medical doctor nor an expert in any psychological discourse. I am just sharing my thoughts.

So, some might say I am emotionally sensitive. My retort would be, OF COURSE I AM! Rejection elicits so much emotional pain for me at times that it affects my thinking. I become addicted to rejection because it reinforces negative ways, and essentially validates my hostility and pessimism. Because rejection is something I have been dealing with since childhood, I become flooded with anger and sadness. I feel abandoned, unworthy, inadequate, you name it. Hence, a cardinal reason for why my empathy is so pronounced. Since I use rejection as a way to validate my negative self-views, negative perspectives, and use of negative misattribution, I justifiably call this behavior, rejection addiction. But while rejection has eroded my self-esteem and self-confidence in the past, learning and understanding my ADHD has helped me curtail the after-effects of rejection. I’ve learned to better manage my emotions because of what I’ve learned (and continue to learn) about MY ADHD. What I have learned about my specific criteria, symptoms, traits, features, and patterns. As a result, I have taught myself how to cope. I have altered my thought-process to be more positive, less arbitrary, and much less negative! I have practiced behavior modification. And for these reasons, for these dialectics, I am able to prevent self-sabotage so much more than before I understood my ADHD, before I understood myself.

What effect does rejection have on you? Do you think you’re addicted to rejection? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below or send me an e-mail to

And please remember, we’re all in this together! #adhdawareness #adhdsupport

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We Don’t Outgrow Our ADHD.

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We don’t outgrow our ADHD, we adjust our behavior accordingly. For me, ADHD is perpetual refocusing; perpetual redirecting; and perpetual emotional regulation. The most challenging aspect of my ADHD is self-regulation. Depending on who you ask in the ADHD expert realm, ADHD is a “permanent” neuro-developmental/neuro-biological/neurological/neuro-behavioral disorder or chronic condition. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnosis of ADHD is recognized as a lifelong disorder. (DSM-5 Fifth Edition; American Psychiatric Association, 2013). If you do a search using the terms “lifelong” “ADHD” “disorder”, it will return numerous scholarly articles which state that ADHD is a lifelong condition. Hence, WE likely (sorry, it’s the lawyer in me) DO NOT OUT GROW OUR ADHD.

ADHD is a lifestyle
We don’t out grow our ADHD

If we don’t outgrow ADHD, what should we do?

So what do we do now? We grow with our ADHD. How you might ask – by learning! We become our own advocates with regard to our diagnosis and treatment. We learn everything we can about our individual symptoms. We dissect each symptom. Categorize them. Learn which behaviors manifest each symptom and why. Track these behaviors. Learn how to self-regulate. Talk to fellow ADHDers. Attempt a variety of interventions/treatments. Talk to a doctor who specializes in ADHD. Try an ADHD coach. Listen to podcasts. Read books. Learn how to meditate. Use healing crystals.

To learn more about ADHD, start here What is ADHD blog post.

Keep learning about your ADHD

There are many options available today, some free, some not. Do a Google search. Start somewhere!! Yes, it sounds easier said than done (and scary as all heck) but ADHD is your life long roommate. It’s the very fabric of your being, whether you like it or not. The more you learn about your roommate, the better your life together will be :). Have fun with it!!

For some resources on learning about ADHD, check out our ADHD Resouces page.

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And remember, if we look at our ADHD as a life-long gift, rather than a life-long curse, we will embrace it as an ability, not a disability.