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The Rejection Infection

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Rejection is one of the most difficult emotions to handle. Rejection can be catastrophic for an ADHDer’s emotional health. Feeling dismissed or slighted affects self-esteem, and makes us feel alone and unwanted. I believe rejection and abandonment go hand in hand and, is a toxic formula for emotional chaos, unless it is dealt with compassionately and mindfully. As ADHDers, we allow the power of our emotions to control us and, the power of rejection can turn into an addiction. How? It turns into an addiction because we become fixated on the emotional effect of feeling unwanted, unworthy, and abandoned and become addicted to it. In essence, we hyperfocus on the negative feelings that rejection projects on us and blurs out any possibility of controlling our emotions. If we allow rejection to manifest into obsession, we cannot prevent self-sabotage.

The Rejection Infection

When we become aware of the thoughts and emotions behind the rejection, we can manifest the power to accept rejection and use it to strengthen our sense of self. Feelings are not facts. We can turn that pain into power if we notice the pain, understand why we feel the pain, embrace it, then let it go, we can shift our perspective to feel more self-possessed by paying close attention to our inner critic.

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ADHD Coping Goal: Self-Control, Concrete Thinking, & Calmness

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Do you ever feel like no one hears you . . . I mean really HEARS you? I feel this way every single day of my life. When it comes to talking about something, I have this innate need to thoroughly explain my point, my take, my perception – whatever I’m trying to convey – in order to feel understood. I expect undivided attention, without interruption of course, otherwise I get derailed and forget what I am saying which then sends me into a tizzy of sorts, and my emotions erupt like Mount Vesuvius!!!

ADHD is not intentional

I love using the word brevity, but rarely can apply to my own articulations. How do I deter my emotions from overpowering my intelligence? I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Just kidding. My next blog post will address specific coping mechanisms for over-explaining, which I aspire and intend to master. The one coping mechanism I use daily are the 3 Cs of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

  • C1 – Catch: I [try to] identify the thought that came before the emotion;
  • C2 – Check: I [try to] reflect on how accurate ans useful the thought is; and
  • C3 – Change: I [try yo] change the thought to a more accurate or helpful thought as needed.

How do you deal with over-explaining? Do you catch it and try to implement a behavior modification? Please share your thoughts/comments below.

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Imperfections

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We all have imperfections. And that’s ok because without those amazing, unique, fantastic, crazy, challenging, difficult, crystal-clear imperfections, we wouldn’t be who we are!

This statement applies to every aspect of life, especially an ADHD life.  Most importantly, it helps to rewire your thought-process. Why? Because if you embrace your imperfections, your response resonates not only to yourself but to everyone around you.  By willingly accepting your imperfections, you send the message that you are human.  How you respond to your ‘defect’, ‘fault’, ‘flaw’, or ‘deficiency’ (you get the point) rather than your reaction to it, conveys how you rewire your weakness to strength.  You show vulnerability which in turn shows strength.  And that my friend is inspiring.

Inspire with your imperfections.

We are perfectly flawed. Be proud of that amazing attribute!

You are a human being and are allowed to be imperfect, and you are allowed to be flawed. There is a lot of beauty in your imperfections, in your uniqueness.

~Ileana D’Cruz

Welcome to a brand new day!

See the ADHD and Riducule blog post

Want to know more about The ADHD lawyer? Check out my blog post What is an Adhd Lawyer?

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What is an ADHD Lawyer? Part III.

First, a little fun.

Lawyer Acronyms

  • Learned
  • Affluent
  • Wise
  • Yielding
  • Empath
  • Rock

Lawyer Synonyms

  • Attorney
  • Attorney-At-Law
  • Barrister
  • Counsel
  • Counselor (Counsellor)
  • Counselor-At-Law
  • Friend of the Court
  • Jurisprudent
  • Legal Advisor
  • Legal Advocate
  • Legal Eagle
  • Legal Practitioner
  • Member of the Bar
  • Officer of the Court
  • Procurator

Putting It All Together (ADHD Lawyer).

An ADHD Lawyer is someone like me.

To be continued . . .

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What is an ADHD Lawyer? Part II.

Part II. What is a L A W Y E R?

A Lawyer is . . . a noun. To lawyer is . . . a verb! Ha! Seriously, a lawyer is one who is licensed to practice law. Black’s Law Dictionary 905 (8th ed. 2004). As an aside (ADHD, sorry), my Black’s is pristine (because I never use it). The updated definition on Westlaw is, a lawyer is someone who, having been licensed to practice law, is qualified to advise people about legal matters, prepare contracts and other legal instruments, and represent people in court. Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014), available at Westlaw.com. Interesting upgrade from 2004. I guess a lot happens in 10 years!

I am not sure if Merrium Webster consulted with BAG but their definition is a bit grammatically off. A lawyer is, one whose profession is to conduct lawsuits for clients or to advise as to legal rights and obligations in other matters. Conduct lawsuits? The conduct of a lawsuit is litigation, hence conduct litigation but, a lawyer conducts lawsuits? I guess MW views a lawyer akin to an opera conductor. Ironically, when I searched Google for the phrase, “conduct lawsuits for clients”, the results were ethics opinions and malpractice suits. #interstinglyodd At, my age, I really shouldn’t be using hashtags (or dude, for that matter). #generationX

And the verb, lawyer, per Black’s 10th Edition: 1. To practice as a lawyer <associates often spend their days and nights lawyering, with little time for recreation>. 2. To supply with lawyers <the large law-school class will certainly help lawyer the state>. See lawyer up. (love the slang, BAG!). Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014)

To follow. Part III: Lawyer Acronyms. Lawyer synonyms. Putting it all together (ADHD Lawyer). To. Be. Continued. FFN Categories: Blog, General Posts, Posts Tags: ADHD, adhd lawyer, blog, lawyer Edit